1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
3. One to decide that, yeah, it IS dark in here.
4. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
5. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.
6. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb.
7. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished."
8. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
9. One to viciously smear #8.
10. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
11. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.