WASHINGTON (IWR News Satire) - Lynne Cheney was hospitalized on Friday after she had a severe anxiety attack during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN's Situation Room.
Mrs. Cheney became agitated and disoriented when asked repeated questions about her smutty lesbian porn novel and her husband's statements condoning the torture technique of waterboarding.
"Look Blitzer, you know I came on here to just hawk my new children's book and then you have to remind everybody about my smutty novel.
[Mrs. Cheney starts crying.]
That's not fair.
It's perfectly legitimate for Republicans like Senator Macaca, I mean George Allen, to smear a terrorist hugging, pervert like Jim Webb, but it's never OK to slander good, god fearing people like my husband Dick or me.
[Mrs. Cheney starts waving and pointing her finger in Mr. Blitzer's face.]
Just because Dick shot some lawyer when he was drunk last Winter and my husband likes to watch videos of prisoners being tortured at Gitmo doesn't make him or me a bad person.
You terrorists just hate America don't you?
And another thing, this country isn't broken like that Jack Cafferty bastard thinks. Everything is just hunky-dory, and you know it Wolf," said a bawling Lynne Cheney.
Then, when Blitzer stated that Jim Webb's novel was on the US Marine's Book Reading List, Mrs. Cheney started pulling her out her hair and bolted out of the CNN studio screaming.