Sunday, November 06, 2005

This weeks top idiot

From this week's The Top 10 Conservative Idiots (No. 221)
What pleasure! What joy! What an utter, utter buffoon! If you saw Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Martha) almost crap himself live on television last week, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. If you didn't, here's the deal...

Several times over the past year, Republicans have publicly promised to carry out an investigation into how the Bush administration used intelligence before the invasion of Iraq. But somehow the GOP kept forgetting about it. Last week, sick of Republican stonewalling and emboldened by the recent Libby indictment, Democrats decided that it was time to take action.

The fun began when, during a speech on the Senate floor, Minority Leader Harry Reid suddenly invoked Rule 21. Rule 21 forces the Senate into closed session and is normally only invoked through mutual agreement between the two parties - but not this time. Oh no. This time Harry Reid picked up ol' Rule 21 and swung it like a club straight into Bill Frist's nuts.

When Frist appeared before reporters shortly afterwards to discuss the situation, he looked a bit like someone really had just given him a swift kick in the balls. Red-faced and spluttering, the senator could barely contain his outrage.

"About 10 minutes ago or so, the United States Senate has been hijacked by the Democratic leadership!" he raved. "Never have I been slapped in the face with such an affront to the leadership of this grand institution. They have no conviction. They have no principles. They have no ideas. This is a pure stunt. This is an affront to me personally. It's an affront to our leadership. It's an affront to the United States of America!"

whAAAAAAA!!! Someone get that man a diaper.

Frist went on to complain that back in the good old days, the Senate Minority Leader would never have been so rude or discourteous. Why, if Harry Reid had been a better person he would have given Bill Frist the opportunity to stop the Democrats from invoking Rule 21 in the first place. That would have been the gentlemanly thing to do.

Oh Bill, why are you such tool?

The good news is that it all worked out. Harry Reid and the Dems obviously got a brand new spine for Fitzmas, the Republicans were - finally - forced to agree upon a schedule for the intelligence investigation, and Bill Frist ended up looking like a complete moron.

Good times!

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